Friday, July 15, 2011

Silence......or lack of it!

A few days ago a friend posted this on their blog.......
"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music." ~Aldous Huxley
After reading that quote, I had one of those "AAAAAAAh" moments.
Because for several days before this quote was posted, I had been thinking about silence and contemplating turning it into a blog post of some sort! 
The trouble was......and still is to some extent.....I couldn't write my jumble of thoughts down in a way that I was happy with.  The thoughts wouldn't go away, so I will attempt to share my "wombat in the belfry" thoughts on the subject!

In reply to the above quote, someone posted, "What is silence?"
Good question!!!!
I posted the thought that I had straight after reading the quote.
 ".....after the loss of our little girl, the silence of grief was nearly overpowering in our home. When I sat and played the piano the silence was washed away and a little bit of my heart healed. That is what came into my mind after reading that quote. Music is a great healer."
Silence can be a very good thing, but it can also be a glaring reminder of something lost.  Sometimes the expression, "The silence was deafening," can be so very true.
I had the sheet music for "Jessica's Sonata #2" and I would sit at my piano and play it over and over again.  It just seemed to be the perfect piece of music to block out the crushing silence.  I could put expression....feeling into it.  I only play it occasionally now.  As much as I love this piece of music, it takes me back to a very sad, dark and.........silent time in my life.

Our home has always been fairly calm, organized and orderly.
Not silent.......peaceful would be a better word.
Joshua was away at college when Samuel was born and didn't get to see him until that Christmas.  I laughed when Joshua commented, "Our house isn't a quiet house anymore!"  No, it wasn't isn't wasn't.
I don't think it will ever be again!

I was trying to think of the last time our home was blessed with silence.
The wonderful, glorious sound of silence......
Not in recent memory.
Instead, we have had a house full of family and friends.
We have a little boy that is talking, singing, yelling, being contrary.
We have a big yellow dog whack, whack, whacking the furniture.....our legs....with his tail.
We have me screaming in terror as my daughter peels out of the church parking lot on two, wait, that is fodder for a different post.
At night we have silence.......kind of.

At night, I lay in bed listening to the silence of the house.
But, even then, there isn't really silence.
The thoughts swirling around in my head are to loud for there to be silence.
Even when we do have the silence of sleep descend, it is usually broken at midnight, or 2am or 4am, by the voice of a little boy saying in his little voice, "Daddy, move." or, "Hello Mummy."
Snoring.....I will say no more on than subject.......
Sometimes I think people need to learn when it would be a good idea for them to be silent.
Advice wasn't asked for, so don't give it.
Sometimes body language can scream volumes.
Sometimes we all need to be silent.
We need to listen.
Listen to what people are saying.
Sometimes people are silent.
Sometimes their silence speaks volumes.

I am not a fan of snow.
It can be very beautiful.
I do love the silence of snow.
When we lived in Minnesota and South Dakota I loved the early hours of the morning right after a snow storm.  The ground is covered with white and nothing has left its mark yet.
It is silent.
I sometimes crave for silence, but I don't think it is really the silence I want.
Maybe a bit of solitude?
Though.........maybe you have been listening to the same thing, whether it is talking or whatever, a little bit to long when it becomes intelligible, like the adults on "Charlie Brown".  Remember the "wha-wha, wha-wha?"
I think we all have these moments!!!

Ultimately, I take all the sounds of silence in my life, filter out the unwanted and put them under the "Wah wa Wah" catagory.
The sounds that make me happy are many....

One of the first songs I taught myself to play is "Sounds of Silence."
Seems appropriate to have it on my blog today.


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