A long time, but, still like yesterday...

It has been such a long time since I have written on my blog.  So much has happened and still so much is still the same!!  Why do I write today?  Many reasons.  Writing on my blog was a way to remember and make a journal of my family.  Maybe something I said would help someone, make their day brighter  It helped me.  So, regardless of how many people may take the time to read what I have to say, I want to leave something of me for my kids.  So, hopefully I will be able to type something on a more regular basis.  Hopefully I will have something to say that makes sense!!

Today I want to share about something that actually makes me sad.  I am usually a pretty happy person and try to look at the positives in life.  But, some memories and thoughts are sad.  October 15th is  national pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.   15 years ago on April 23rd at around 6am, our little girl Emma Rose was born. The day before had started off with such hope and happiness.  Many of us know just how quickly that can change.  With us it was a ultrasound and no movement.  No heart beat.  How could that be when I had been so careful?  I was full term, how could that be?

The years have passed.  I no longer think of Emma as a baby.  I think of her as a teenager and let myself wonder at different times, what would she be like?  I see a girl with long wavy hair and maybe a dimple in her cheek.  I see her playing the piano just like her brothers and sister.  What other instruments would she play?  Would she like soccer like Sam or art like Jessica?  Would she enjoy babysitting her nephews?  I see a girl with a kind heart and a gentle soul.  

Today, I have let my mind wander and wonder as I sat and waited for Sam to finish his therapies.  As Sam and I made a quick trip to the grocery store for a few items for dinner tonight and for mini marshmallows for our science experiment this afternoon, my mind wandered and wondered.  As we talked about trains and pizza, my mind wandered and wondered.

Emma and Sam would have been great friends.  They are 18 months apart.  I think Emma would have helped draw Sam into her world, his guide.  I think she would have jumped into his world and made autism a bit less scary for him - and others.  

Many years ago I had gone to the mall one evening, I had Sam with me, but, everyone else was at church activities.  I remember looking back in the rear view mirror at Sam in his car seat and my thought was, "There should be two."  My very next thought was, "Yes, but you are happy."  There was a time after Emma died that I thought I would never be happy again, joy was something lost to me.  But, happiness came back.  Yes, there should be Joshua, Jessica, Emma and Sam.  But, there isn't.  The important thing is that there will be.  I know with all my heart that when this life is done, I will hold my girl.  We need to have hope and faith.  In despair and even when my mind wanders and wonders, hope and faith shine through.

We need to get a family picture with our beautiful Zachary aka Taco!!!

King of New York

This week we have been getting back into our schedule after our week on St. George Island.  That involved some of our extracurricular activities such as piano, Cub Scouts and dance. 

 They are working hard on this year's recital.

The Power of 3 Words

This isn't the blog post I planned for today.

I am trying to get in the habit of posting something every day.

I have tried this before and failed.

Miserably.

So, we will see how I go this time!!!

This will actually be shorter than what I had planned.  Hallelujah you may say!!

When Sam first started to talk, he developed like any typical child.  The only thing that seemed truly "odd" was that he would not wave bye-bye like most babies eventually do and he would never say,

"I love you".

Eventually his words started to just go away.  If he wanted to tell us something, he would spell it out with his foam letters or the alphabet magnets on the refrigerator. 

Still, every day I would look in Sam's eyes and say,

"I love you."

Every day for years.

 

Sam had some wonderful speech and behavior therapists and gradually, his words started to come back.

 He also had a wonderful dog named Blue.

 Sam would talk to us through Blue.

If Sam wanted us to know something, he would tell Blue.

Then one day, I was sitting on the bench in the hallway, putting on my shoes.  We were about to head off to school.  Just like I did every morning, I said, "Sam, I love you."  But, this time, not like every morning, Sam turned to me and said,
"I love you too."

I cried.

This afternoon I also cried.
We were driving along in the car, listening to the radio.  Sam said, "Mum, I have something to tell you."  I said, "What?"  Sam said,
"I love you."

I remembered.

The Wheels on the Bus Go...and go...and go...and GO!!

Yesterday was Sam's first piano recital.  He has been taking lessons for a little over a month.

Sam loves learning the piano.

It was held at a nursing home here in Brandon called Hawthorn Village.  It was crowded, a little loud and all new for Sam.  That threw him off his game a little, but he came through and played his piece.

 Sam did not co-operate for a before performance photograph.

 Open your eyes Samuel!!!!

 There we go!!!

Now for the grand performance!

Sam had a headache and paused in the middle to tell Ms. Linda.

But, I think you will agree that he did great after only playing for a few weeks.

 Waiting for his turn was extremely grueling for Sam.

Possibly grueling for his parents as well.

Possibly for a few people sitting by us.

But, we were seated by/in the kitchen and Sam helped himself to popcorn and a few of my cookies.  That made the wait a bit more bearable. 

 Afterwards, everyone received a medal.

Very proud of our boy.

Stay tuned for more.

Hair Cuts and Archaelogical Digs

On Fridays, Sam and I usually go on a field trip of some kind.

When it is his turn to choose, Sam usually picks one of the area shopping malls because then he can ride his beloved escalators and have Chick-fil-a for lunch.

Every now and then he does surprise me with a different choice.

This past Friday was one of those days and I must admit, it did surprise me.

Sam chose to go and get his hair cut.

 Over the years Samuel has gradually gotten more tolerant of getting his hair cut.

Some days the hairdresser can use clippers.

Some days she can't.

Some days he will be fine with the noise of the scissors snip snipping.

Some days.....well, you get the idea!!

The hairdresser we go to is quite a drive away, but, Sam gets to watch "Wubbzy" while he is sitting there and they have trains in the waiting area!!

This visit was the best EVER!!

Sam did not squirm, wiggle or bolt from the chair once.

We will see how the next visit goes, but I am hoping that we can cross hair cuts off the list of things to conquer.

 Some of these photos are a bit blurry because I took them with my phone. 

This week we are studying Egypt and to kick it off, we are excavating a pyramid. 

 Sam is very busy and completely engrossed.

This photo does not show the end result clearly.
After much chipping and dusting, Sam found a statue in the middle of his pyramid!!

Sam thought this was much more exciting than spelling and math!!

Have You Ever Been To Space Ship City??

I've been thinking about this blog since I downloaded the pictures yesterday.

The words of this song has been running through my mind.

 Take me down to the paradise city
Where the grass is green
And the girls are pretty
Take me home
(Oh, won't you please take me home?)

Can you name the song......

can you name the band?????

 

In my mind the words have been mixed up a little.  

That can happen.

In my case, it can happen rarely... on occasion ...sometimes...

OK, it happens all the time!!

My version starts of, "Have you ever been to Space Ship City?"

It really goes down hill from there.

Last Thursday Samuel woke-up, ran into our bedroom and declared that Dad was taking him on a field trip to Space Ship City.  Jim declared that he was not taking Samuel on a field trip to Space Ship City.  Begrudgingly, Samuel then changed plans and proclaimed that Mummsy was taking him to Space Ship City.

I thought, "Why not??"  The only problem was, I had no idea where Space Ship City was!   

We asked Sam to describe it.

Big building with a glass all over it.

Escalator and elevator.

(A must for any self-respecting field trip)

There was a big building next to it with escalators that hardly ever worked.

Then......we knew......

 The Florida Aquarium.

Darn, we had just let our membership expire!!!

But, Sam and I went anyway.

 First order of business was to ride the escalator.

 We went and checked out the new Lemur exhibit.

 No trip is complete without climbing into.........

 and onto some giant sea shells.

 What is Sam doing here you may ask??

 No, it isn't some new fangled time out room.

 Sam did enjoy it.

 It was a hurricane simulator.

Sam has a tough time with storms, so it always surprises me when he wants to go into one of these.

 Wasn't sure how these photos would work out because of the lighting.

I like them.

 Even the fish like Legos.

 Stopping to check out some of the hands on stuff.

 HIGH

LOW

 Sam decided that it was lunch time.

 He has the same thing every time.

Hot dog, fries, vanilla pudding and a chocolate milk.

 

 Sam loved his.

I, however, did not enjoy my sandwich.

Above is a picture of the world's most disgusting sandwich ever.

Yukky!

 Then, outside to the splash area.

 I do believe that is Sam's head on the right.

 Here are the non working escalators in the cruise terminal that is next to the aquarium.

 

It was a good day.

It wasn't crowded because school is in session and because it is early in the school year, no field trips!  Except for us of course.

Usually when we go to the aquarium, the whole trip is done at a break neck speed around and around the exhibits.  We can usually get Sam to stop and say Hi to Mr. Grouper.

But, on Thursday, we stopped at a lot of the exhibits and talked about them.

We didn't go barreling through the different sections at 100mph.

In the play area, all the little toddlers thought it was a good idea to dump buckets of sand on Sam's head, but he just brushed it off and kept building his roads.

If someone was in his way, he went around them.....politely! 

 

It was a good day in Space Ship City.

 

Sally-Ann

By the way.

It was "Paradise City" by Guns N' Roses.

But, I like Carrie Underwoods version as well.