Thursday, September 4, 2008

This is Thursday.....

The first photo was taken at "Story Book Island" in Rapid City, South Dakota this summer, his cousin, Zion, is sitting behind him. The 2nd was taken the night we arrived home from vacation. A cell phone, a "ookie" = a happy boy
I just tucked my little boy into bed. After reading 20,000 books, complete with funny voices, brushing his teeth and snuggling him in with kisses being blown to me as I go out the door - I think we have sleep-off.

Thursdays are very tiring days. I take Samuel to Kindermusik at 10:10am every Thursday. I used to take Jessica to Kindermusik when she was the same age. It has changed quite a bit since 14 years ago! Jessica's Kindermusik teacher was quite old. In fact, I asked Jessica what she remembered about Kindermusik and that is the first thing she said, "The teacher was old." The only other thing that she could remember was the extremely steep driveway that led up to the teacher's house. This was in South Dakota, so in the winter it was quite an adventure getting up the driveway! Jessica's teacher didn't get on the floor and play like Samuel's teacher! Jessica would sit on my lap, listen and follow all the directions. She would play the instruments when she was supposed to, she twirled and tiptoed on cue. They had cute hobby horses that they would ride around galloping to the beat of a song. All in all it was very satisfying and enjoyable for her and me.

Zoom ahead 14 years. Sam's teacher is not old, a mere slip of a girl (just in case she reads this). Miss Aimee sings beautifully, and has energy to spare. We don't have to battle snow storms to get to class, just the occasional hurricane. Miss Aimee makes us take an oath at the beginning of each session that we will not be judgmental of the other Mummy's and Daddy's parenting skills. Today, I felt like we needed to add, "Please, please, don't judge my little boy harshly for his lack of social graces!" Sam rarely sits on my lap, does not follow directions all that well (he occasionally chooses to) and at times has been known to throw musical instruments through the air like missiles, push his classmates down as a greeting, pull dear, sweet little girl's hair........ Though, last week I did learn that in is a milestone for children to be able to avert their eyes and ignore you completely! Every Thursday my husband asks how Kindermusik went, for a long time I had to tell him that Samuel spent the entire time galloping or jumping around the perimeter of the classroom. Miss Aimee has a post on her blog that another parent wrote. I just reread it and I feel much better!

Sam loves Kindermusik. When we drive into the parking lot, he claps his hands together and says, "fun, fun, fun". Even though he rarely sings along in the classroom, at home and in the car he sings the songs all the time. The books are all well-worn and he now tells us the stories.

My children joke - well, I think it is a joke - and say that Sam is the favourite. No, he isn't the favourite, I have just learned a very hard lesson of how precious and how short every minute we have with our children is. I wish I could go back in time and be more patient, not so worried about the housework or getting this and that done. As I tucked Samuel in tonight I had the familiar pain in my heart and tears in my eyes as I thought of the little girl I wish I was tucking in with Sam. I can't help but think that our little Emma Rose would be a calming salve to our wild little boy. A yin to his yang. Sometimes I look back to check on Sam in his car seat and I get a flash of "there should be 2 car seats back there." But there isn't. So, I hold my little boy a little tighter, I read 20,000 books, never tire of repeating the phrase, "gentle hands", let the housework pile up, keep a stock of Oreo cookies on hand and I just enjoy his quirks, his singing, his hugs and kisses, his joy in life. I am doing what I love the most, I am a Mum to 4 wonderful children.

This post certainly did not go the way I intended! I was shooting for light-hearted and ...Oh well, a blog is for posting what is on your mind, and I guess I had a lot of wombats in my belfry today. Thursdays are tiring, but I wouldn't change them.



Frogwoman said...

Okay. You are not allowed to make me cry when I read your blog. I did enjoy it though. See you next week. Wendy

Diane Masiello said...

Hi! I'm Diane, the mom that writes over at Mrs. Aimee (from Kindermusik)'s blog. She linked here and, though it took me awhile to get the time to read, I found time to do that tonight.

What a beautiful piece you've written! And what an amazing woman you are! Four children, 21 to 3. Wow. I wish I had that kind of strength. I only have two--4 and a half and 2--and I can barely keep it together some days.

And I think your joke about the harp/car is funny. So there.

Even though our families and our experiences are somewhat different, I find myself doing some of the same things, sometimes--doing things more than the outside world might think I should out of the pure gratitude for having the children I have.

I can't imagine the pain of losing your twin daughter. I did, however, miscarry my first child, and I often think that loss (while awful and still heartbreaking) did serve to help me appreciate the two precious gifts that I was finally able to carry to full-term. And it does inspire me to value each and every moment with them, even if it is reading 20,000 books.

Life is short, time is precious--why not spend as much of it with our darlings as we can? There is nothing better to spend our time on, right?

Mother on! Good job.

Oh, and your post also made me cry. Thank you. I haven't cried over my lost child in awhile. It was nice to remember my precious little Almost.

I'll keep reading!