Friday, April 27, 2012

April 23rd

On Monday, April 23rd, 2012, we were having a fun time together as a family.  We were in Utah for Joshua's graduation and wanted to spend some time together before we left the next day.  Joshua had a job interview in the morning, so after he was done we went to the new mall in downtown Salt Lake to grab a bite to eat and to let Samuel ride up and down all the escalators one more time. 
Then we headed off to This Is The Place Heritage Park

It was a fun time wandering around.  Sam had fun because there was a little train that took you around.
But, my mind kept turning back the time to another April 23rd.
Eight years ago.
Could it really be eight years?
It doesn't seem possible to me.
What a contrast this April 23rd was to the one eight years ago.

Today as I was driving home from dropping Sam off at school, the tears started to flow.
Tears that I wouldn't let come this past Monday........

I usually visit Emma's grave once a week.
It is peaceful there.
The birds are usually chirping and there is sometimes a nice breeze.
We choose to keep Emma's graveside very simple.  No plastic flowers or whirly gigs.
Nothing that fades in the harsh Florida sun or is ruined by the elements.
On her birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day and other special occasions, we choose to place a simple rose.  We know that it will wilt quickly in the heat, but we pick the most beautiful rose we can find.
This just seems right to us.

This year has been particularly hard for me.  I think it is because this would have been one of those milestone years.  Emma would have been baptized this year.
I close my eyes and I can imagine her standing here in her white dress.
No time for tears or "what if".
I know we will be together again as a family.
That promise is what brings joy to a broken heart.

That, and.........

heading off to get Sam from school, give him an extra hug and buy him fries and a chocolate milkshake without  a cherry...........

No comments: