Monday, November 14, 2011

If I am found dead, "Keep Calm and Carry On"........

I have been trying to get my garage organized.
It is a job that requires a hard hat, a strong back, nerves of steel
and lots and lots and lots of large trash bags........
This actually is NOT my garage.  Ours is not THIS messy

The process has been slowed down a little bit because amongst all the junk are boxes of mementos. 
Photos, my baby's firsts......
their seconds,
and fourths......
.you get the idea!
Love letters from Jim to me.
Love letters from me to Jim.
Memories, memories, memories.
One of my most favorite photos that I found, is this one....
I was extremely pregnant with a 9lb 8.8oz Jessica.
Joshua wanted to come to my doctor appointment with me because he absolutely loved adored loved and adored our family doctor......Dr. Perzinski.
In this photo Joshua is listening to his sister's heartbeat.
A friend was doing a photography project and capturing the different stages of pregnancy on film. 
That is the only reason a photo of my big belly exists!!!  
Can't believe I am putting it on my blog!
But, I love the look of concentration on Joshua's face.
My next find was very bitter sweet.
It made me smile.....
It made me sad......
It caused me to reflect a bit.
It made me think of this..... 
 Shortly after my mother died, my good friend Andrea, sent me a box with some of her things.  I had forgotten about this one item, it is a note, and when I unfolded the paper, I laughed out loud. 
My Mum would put many of these notes around her house.  

"If found dead, PLEASE do not panic.
Phone Anne on *** *** and she will call Dr. Monks.  
Remind him I'm not to go to the morgue!!  Murphy McKay Funerals
Phone Murphy McKay *** ***
and Sally ***************" 

Yes, this may seem a strange thing.
If you knew my mother.........not so strange.

My mother had bad health and the last few years of her life she would often have times where she was sure that she was going to die on a certain day or weekend.  Mum would often call me and tell me this - so it wouldn't be a shock when I received the call!
I would always call her a few days later, and when she answered the phone, I would ask her how come she was answering the phone!!  She would get mad and hang-up on me!!

What made me sad then, and makes me sad today, is that she concentrated so much on preparing for her death and preparing others for it, that she stopped living. 

We need to find joy in every day.
Sometimes this may be hard.
But, if we look hard enough, there is always a bright spot in each day.

Samuel helps me to find the joy in each day.
He is a happy boy.
When you walk in the door he greets you with joy.
He builds you up.
He encourages you to "try again Mummy!"
and gives you a resounding, "You did it!" or, "Good job!" when you do try again and succeed.

Are we that encouraging and supportive to those that we meet?
Do we have joy on our faces??
Are we living in the moment???
Or are we swept up in what was and what will be?
Worrying about the past and about the future takes away from where we are.

Oh, I know that everything can't be sunshine and roses all the time.
But, we can live joyfully........
Just ask Sam.

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