Wah wah wah Wah wah

So, I assume that everyone is familiar with Charlie Brown.  You never see the adults in any of the Charlie Brown movies, just their legs.  You never hear them actually talk either.  All you hear is...

Or, just in case you have never heard it, which I find impossible inconceivable! 

I was thinking about this today.  How many times do we talk, give our opinion, our advice, our heartfelt thoughts and then realize that no one is actually listening?

It has happened to me on occasion and I don't know about you, but, I find it really annoying.

I have written about Samuel finding his voice before.  If you don't know his story, you can read it here - The Power of 3 Words

We always knew that if Samuel could tell us what he needed, that his meltdowns would diminish. 

 After all, don't we all want to be heard?

Today was a lesson for me.

Firstly, it can be a crushing feeling to realize that nobody listens to you.  Well, I guess they listen, but do they hear what you are saying?

Secondly, never assume that others understand what you are saying to them.  Today was the lesson of the pot holder.

Sam and I were doing a science experiment today.  It involved the melting of a marshmallow over a candle and observing the changes.  I forgot to bring a pot holder up to our class room, so I sent Sam down to get it.  I described what it looked like and where he would find it.  I heard Sam down in the kitchen opening the draw that holds all the pots and pans.  "We don't need a pot..." and once again told him where it was and what it looked like.  Sam came up with a pot.  So, I ended up going down and showing him where the pot holder was and what it was.  After all that, we didn't even use the stupid pot holder!!!!

But, it was a lesson for me.  Never assume that people get what you are trying to say.  Sam was listening, but, obviously, I needed to do a better job explaining.  If it is important, make yourself heard.  Way back when Sam had full blown meltdowns, he was trying desperately to make himself heard.  I look at the tv, social media, the news, etc., and see so many people having the equivalent of a melt down.  People think that to get what they want, a public display of aggression is the way to go.  We see this all the time in customer service.  "I want to get a discount, so I will yell at this person until I get it."

Can you be heard and understood using a quiet voice?

I think the answer is yes.

Can we be heard, understood and get what we want using a quiet voice?

I still think the answer is yes.  Just ask my grand-babies!!! 

A long time, but, still like yesterday...

It has been such a long time since I have written on my blog.  So much has happened and still so much is still the same!!  Why do I write today?  Many reasons.  Writing on my blog was a way to remember and make a journal of my family.  Maybe something I said would help someone, make their day brighter  It helped me.  So, regardless of how many people may take the time to read what I have to say, I want to leave something of me for my kids.  So, hopefully I will be able to type something on a more regular basis.  Hopefully I will have something to say that makes sense!!

Today I want to share about something that actually makes me sad.  I am usually a pretty happy person and try to look at the positives in life.  But, some memories and thoughts are sad.  October 15th is  national pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.   15 years ago on April 23rd at around 6am, our little girl Emma Rose was born. The day before had started off with such hope and happiness.  Many of us know just how quickly that can change.  With us it was a ultrasound and no movement.  No heart beat.  How could that be when I had been so careful?  I was full term, how could that be?

The years have passed.  I no longer think of Emma as a baby.  I think of her as a teenager and let myself wonder at different times, what would she be like?  I see a girl with long wavy hair and maybe a dimple in her cheek.  I see her playing the piano just like her brothers and sister.  What other instruments would she play?  Would she like soccer like Sam or art like Jessica?  Would she enjoy babysitting her nephews?  I see a girl with a kind heart and a gentle soul.  

Today, I have let my mind wander and wonder as I sat and waited for Sam to finish his therapies.  As Sam and I made a quick trip to the grocery store for a few items for dinner tonight and for mini marshmallows for our science experiment this afternoon, my mind wandered and wondered.  As we talked about trains and pizza, my mind wandered and wondered.

Emma and Sam would have been great friends.  They are 18 months apart.  I think Emma would have helped draw Sam into her world, his guide.  I think she would have jumped into his world and made autism a bit less scary for him - and others.  

Many years ago I had gone to the mall one evening, I had Sam with me, but, everyone else was at church activities.  I remember looking back in the rear view mirror at Sam in his car seat and my thought was, "There should be two."  My very next thought was, "Yes, but you are happy."  There was a time after Emma died that I thought I would never be happy again, joy was something lost to me.  But, happiness came back.  Yes, there should be Joshua, Jessica, Emma and Sam.  But, there isn't.  The important thing is that there will be.  I know with all my heart that when this life is done, I will hold my girl.  We need to have hope and faith.  In despair and even when my mind wanders and wonders, hope and faith shine through.

We need to get a family picture with our beautiful Zachary aka Taco!!!