A long time, but, still like yesterday...

It has been such a long time since I have written on my blog.  So much has happened and still so much is still the same!!  Why do I write today?  Many reasons.  Writing on my blog was a way to remember and make a journal of my family.  Maybe something I said would help someone, make their day brighter  It helped me.  So, regardless of how many people may take the time to read what I have to say, I want to leave something of me for my kids.  So, hopefully I will be able to type something on a more regular basis.  Hopefully I will have something to say that makes sense!!

Today I want to share about something that actually makes me sad.  I am usually a pretty happy person and try to look at the positives in life.  But, some memories and thoughts are sad.  October 15th is  national pregnancy and infant loss awareness day.   15 years ago on April 23rd at around 6am, our little girl Emma Rose was born. The day before had started off with such hope and happiness.  Many of us know just how quickly that can change.  With us it was a ultrasound and no movement.  No heart beat.  How could that be when I had been so careful?  I was full term, how could that be?

The years have passed.  I no longer think of Emma as a baby.  I think of her as a teenager and let myself wonder at different times, what would she be like?  I see a girl with long wavy hair and maybe a dimple in her cheek.  I see her playing the piano just like her brothers and sister.  What other instruments would she play?  Would she like soccer like Sam or art like Jessica?  Would she enjoy babysitting her nephews?  I see a girl with a kind heart and a gentle soul.  

Today, I have let my mind wander and wonder as I sat and waited for Sam to finish his therapies.  As Sam and I made a quick trip to the grocery store for a few items for dinner tonight and for mini marshmallows for our science experiment this afternoon, my mind wandered and wondered.  As we talked about trains and pizza, my mind wandered and wondered.

Emma and Sam would have been great friends.  They are 18 months apart.  I think Emma would have helped draw Sam into her world, his guide.  I think she would have jumped into his world and made autism a bit less scary for him - and others.  

Many years ago I had gone to the mall one evening, I had Sam with me, but, everyone else was at church activities.  I remember looking back in the rear view mirror at Sam in his car seat and my thought was, "There should be two."  My very next thought was, "Yes, but you are happy."  There was a time after Emma died that I thought I would never be happy again, joy was something lost to me.  But, happiness came back.  Yes, there should be Joshua, Jessica, Emma and Sam.  But, there isn't.  The important thing is that there will be.  I know with all my heart that when this life is done, I will hold my girl.  We need to have hope and faith.  In despair and even when my mind wanders and wonders, hope and faith shine through.

We need to get a family picture with our beautiful Zachary aka Taco!!!

A Very Hungry Caterpillar Is On His Way

 On Saturday we had a baby shower for Courtney.

We had tried to have a baby shower for Tristan before he was born, but the little stinker decided to make his entrance into the world on the day of the shower!!!

This time - no early arrivals!!

The theme?

This beautiful wreath greeted the guests at the front door.

If you would like a wreath personalized just for you, Wreaths by Ella is the place for you!!

Party game with a caterpillar twist.  Had to add the word "cute" as a forbidden word.  No one was falling for "baby"!)

I forgot to take a picture of the guest book.  This is basically what I did, but had a cute stuffed caterpillar behind it.

Flowers are always a wonderful decoration!

Party Favors - or what remained!!

Cake - and NO, the baby will not be named Taco. (unless you ask Tristan however!!)

Some of the guests, and pictures of guests taking pictures of the guests.

Not only did Hina lose her caterpillar, but the lei it was attached to!! 

Not sure what Mia is doing....or me for that matter!!  Oh, well.

Time for gifts!!!

 

Our new sister missionaries came to party with us!  So glad they did!!!

All that was left to do was to give out the prizes.

I might add, the game where the winner with the most caterpillars came out on top became quite cutthroat.  I knew some of the guests would have to be watched, but...oh my!!

I hope that everyone had a good time and that Courtney and little Taco Wade felt loved.

Yes, Tristan not only wants to call the baby, Taco, but, Taco Wade!

Let's Go Fly A Kite....

So, what do you do when it is your last full day of vacation?

You are steps from the beach.

It is a bit of a chilly day.

It is a bit of a windy day.

Fly a kite of course!!

And that is exactly what we did this morning.

 Like I said previously, it was a little on the nippy side today, so the beach was deserted.

 One lone umbrella making a stand against the wind.

 Just in case you missed it the first time, here it is again!

 Love the waves.

 Here is the butterfly kite in action.

 A few seconds later.

 Not long after this shot, Jim did a marvelous, and extremely graceful, fall backwards in an attempt to keep the kite in the air.  Alas, it was all in vain.

 Afterwards, Sam and I went for a swim and played a little swimming pool basketball.

According to Sam, he scored 1, 999 points and I scored -  0.

I think not.

We explored the island a bit.  Climbed the lighthouse.

Apparently, it is frowned upon to stomp up the lighthouse steps.

Jim said it was a good thing I wasn't there.   There might have been some words spoken between the anti-foot stomping police and me if I had been.

I said, no, I would have just joined in on the stomping being the rebel that I am.

I think foot stomping is a lot like jumping in puddles.

Sometimes, you just have to do it.

The first and only unfriendly person we have met all week.

We drove back to  Apalachicola to buy another print to go with the ones we purchased the other day.  Fate was not on our side and he had just closed the store for the day 20 minutes prior.  So, we made a few laps around the business district looking for ceiling fans.

Blue Parrot for an early dinner.

 Sam must have been extra hungry, he had a corn dog in both hands.

 He drank his water and lemonade at the same time as well, I just wasn't quick enough to get a picture of that! 

 Jim ate his food the normal way.

Good seafood! 

We made one last stop at Aunt Ebby's Ice-cream so Jim and Sam could get milkshakes.

It is tradition that all Lightning games need to be watched while drinking a chocolate milkshake.

That was exactly how the night was spent.  Watching ice hockey.

Somebody lost a tooth on the ice and Sam wanted to know if the tooth fairy was going to visit them.

Love the beach and will miss it when we go home tomorrow.  

Sigh.